Quee Quaigs Coffin Book One

Quee Quaigs Coffin

Thatch Colón

Book One

The Angry Swan

Come in, come in. have a seat, there is food, wine, beer, and a fire laid should the night get chilly.  Come in and make yourselves at home.  I will tell you the tale of Carl the Gnome and Que Quaig the half elf, oh ho, I have let slip a secret.  I know many secrets of this tale, because I was there to see, I was there.  

Now, it is horribly cliche to start a tale in a tavern, but often this is how it starts.  Were you, my friends, characters in your own epic quest, they would write you met here, not so different as a tavern.  

So, despite the smiles, I must insist on the truth and tell you that Carl and Que Quaig met at a tavern called the Angry Swan.  They exchanged pleasantries, as we all do, shared a goose for dinner, and because there was no more room, Carl bunked in Que Quaigs room.  Over Roast Goose and Ale the men chatted, learned each other's names, all the things you do when you are going to be sharing a room with a stranger.  Thus, when the fire was lit, and pipes had been filled, the serious questions began.  

Carl, where are you from, and where do you go? Que Quaig asked.  

I am a druid of the moon circle Carl said, lighting their pipes with his fingers, and my Goddess lives in the sea.  I am on my way to thank her, and ask her for an oracle.  And You?

I am Que Quaig, said the swarthy man. I have been on a ship for many years, hunting the sea beasts.  There is good money, but I miss my farm and, he motioned to the remains of dinner, my geese.  I am in good financial straits, free of vows or promises.  I have never seen a goddess before, I will accompany you.  Traveling companions, as equals, we will split the treasure we may find on our way half by half, and should you fall, I will make sure you get the honor your faith deserves.  Carl was taken aback at the straightforward nature of Que Quaigs offer.  

And I yours, said Carl.  If you will excuse me, I have some prayers to say.  

I shall be up in a candle? Que Quaig inquired.  

Yes, that will be ample time, said Carl.  

Prayers said, tucked into his bed, Carl waited for Que Quaig to come up.  When he did, Carl said

This is the beginning, I suppose, when shall we leave?

First Light, said Que Quaig, we can travel long and fast.  

I prefer a breakfast and tea, and perhaps a pipe before I travel said Carl

We leave when we are done with breakfast. Declared Que Quaig.  He blew out the candle and climbed into bed and was snoring in no time.  

The next morning, for you see, the days there work much like ours, they had breakfast and took their pipes to go.  

Carl had never done such a thing, but he soon found himself enjoying the day, leaving a trail of smoke rings.  All day they walked, all day they talked.  Fast friends, faster than either of them had expected, they became.  When the next tavern was lit by the sunset, they stopped.  The Barbaric Yawp was warm, busy and welcoming.  They paid for a room, and went to the tavern.  After a bowl of soup, and some crusty bread. Carl went up to his prayer, and Que Quaig lit a candle.  That night they both slept well and rose the next morning refreshed.  

I could tell you all the stories and adventures they had, but it would take up too much time.  I will use my story teller's prerogative to hasten the journey to the temple Carl's Gd.  They arrived, you see, almost out of pipe weed, hungry and fighting fit from all the walking.  They found a comfortable tavern and went inside.  After paying for a room, which brought some odd looks, they went to the dining hall for dinner.  The Duck had duck, and they ate well, drank flagons of ale, and talked.  Eventually Carl went upstairs, and Que Quaig lit his candle.  That night they slept soundly and woke refreshed ready for the second part of their quest.  

They walked to the temple, and splashing themselves with sea water, they entered

Carl, you have arrived, a woman said.  Well met, faithful follower.  

My Lady, Carl said, shocked to find himself talking to his Gd, I have three things to say.  

Speak then Carl, if it is in my power, I will grant it.  

First My Lady, thank you, thank you for rescuing me, putting me to a task at your service, it has been an honor to serve you, and I look forward to a long and faithful service.  

You have been the most loyal of my acolytes, She said, That is one, two are left.  

Yes My Lady, My second is a petition.  I have tried over the years, and I cannot turn into a Kanga-Moose.  If it is not too vain, or bold, is there any way you could make the Kanga-Mose available to me?

Carl, it is a very difficult being to turn into, and even more difficult to control.  Many Druids never reach this level of skill, but I can see the sea salt in your heart and veins. If you promise to be careful, and only use him in my service, I will bequeath you Frederic, the Kanga Moose. 

My Lady, Carl said quietly, a thousand thank yous, and it shall be as you said.  

And the Third? Carl, our time grows short.  

My Lady, I request an Oracle.  

A request that cannot be denied, said the Sea Goddess, interesting, very well, I will prepare and so shall you.  With that she flowed out of the room.  Carl stripped down to his short trousers, doused himself with sea water, took five sips and held the bowl of sea water in his left hand.  He was surprised to see that Que Quaig had done the same

You don't have to Que Quaig, Carl said, these can be unsettling for a first timer. 

I have seen the great sea beasts, thrown my harpoon into a Kraken's eye, we are traveling companions Carl, Where you go, I am by your side.  

Thank you my swarthy friend, Carl said.  

They stood in contemplation until the Sea Goddess returned

Que Quaig, you are not of our faith, and are not required to participate.  If you would feel more comfortable I can have some cold juice brought to you on the steps.  

My Lady, Que Quaig said, drawing himself up, I am this man's sworn traveling companion.  Where he goes I go, regardless of the plane

A brave and loyal man I see, well then, take a mouth full of the sea water and spray it upon me

My Lady? Sputtered Carl, you want us to spit on you?

Not spit Carl, spray.  

She demonstrated Both Carl and Que Quaig took full mouths of water and sprayed the Goddess.  The world began to take on the smell and feel of the sea.  They sank down into its depths, feeling peace.  Breathing normally they were led to an underwater temple.  

Who shall know my mind? asked the oracle

I said Carl, I am Carl, son of Sven, acolate of the Sea.  

And you? The oracle asked Que Quaig, 

I am Que Quaig, son of a man I don't know and a mother I can barely remember. 

Welcome seekers, and Carl, what is your ask?

How may I serve my Mistress better, answered Carl. 

I would know of my family, Que Quaig said.  

Such curiosity, such resolve, has danger.  Que Quaig, you may see things you do not want to, learn terrible secrets of your past.  Are you willing to proceed?  

Bowing, Que Quaig said, Yes my oracle, I am  

So be it she said, and sat down, eyes closed.  

They were transported as if on riptides, and received their divinations.  

When they awoke they were on the floor of the temple with the Sea Goddess above them.  

Was it successful? She asked.  For me? yes My lady, said Carl

Interesting and terrifying Que Quaig said.  

Well then my children, sit in the sun on the steps, I will have juice brought to you. 

She flowed out of the room, and Carl and Que Quaig sat in the sunshine, drank cold fruit juice, and thought their own thoughts.  

I may need two candles tonight, Carl said, 

And I may need three, Que Quaig said.  

They finished the juice, and walked to the Silver Hare, paid for a room, made themselves comfortable then made their way down to the common room for food.  

The food was good, and following the rule of every traveler, they ordered what the sign showed.  Each had a brace of conies, flaggons of Porter, and Carl lit their pipes with his fingers, and they smoked in companionable silence for half a candle.  When he was done, Carl said I will go pray, two candles is a gift my friend, Thank you

Of course My Brother, said Que Quaig, setting out two candles and refilling his pipe, he motioned for another flagon of the Porter and settled in.  

Carl climbed the steps and prayed hard for two candles, put himself under the covers, put his arms behind his head, and waited on Que Quaig.  

When Que Quaig was in bed and had blown out the candle, Carl Asked

Well?

I don't have words My Brother, said Que Quaig, I have feelings and emotions but I shall try to share with you what I saw.  

I was in my mothers arms, she was crying, my father was in armor leaving, then it was Mother and Me, raising geese, and then it was me.  With Geese Following.  I am a half elf, I never knew until today.  Now I begin to understand why I was shunned.  I will no longer be my friend.  With your help, I will become a proud Warrior for the Sea Goddess.  

Well Said, Carl replied.  

I never suspected, but now that you have told me, I am beginning to see it.  I think we shall talk more about this tomorrow. 

Tomorrow it is, Que Quaig said, and you, what did you see?

I saw the history of our Goddess, I saw it all, the cataclysm, the rising of the seas, the deaths of animals I like of which I have ever seen.  I saw the battles of lore, the treachery of the element Gds, The battles, the peace, the uneasy tension that held the world together.  My task was set before me.  I have to go to the island of Monsters and restore the balance.  I believe if I fail, the world will end.  

My Brother, said Que Quaig, we cannot let that happen.  By your side I will come with you, and restore balance. I have come to love the Sea Goddess, and if I can be in her service, it is what I will do.  

Well said my half elf-friend, well said.  

Tomorrow is a new day, but we must find a boat and crew who will take us to the Island of Monsters.  

Tomorrow we begin again, Que Quaig said, to restore order and prove my OUR word as Acolytes of the Sea Goddess.  Good Night.  

Good Night Sausage, said Carl.  

The next day was busy from Dawn to Dusk.  They arranged for supplies, bought a small boat, but could not find any crew to take them to the Island of Monsters, no matter how much gold was offered.  

Deciding they could sail the boat themselves, they supervised the loading of the food stuffs, the barrels of ale, and other oddities they thought they would need.  That night, after his prayers, both Carl and Que Quaig fell fast asleep without the usual talk.  

The next day dawned bright, with a fair wind rippling the waves.  Carl and Que Quaig thanked Spencer Bonesmith, their innkeeper, and boarded their boat, cast off the lines, set the sails and were on their way, born before the wind on the breath of the sky Goddess.  Days followed nights, and nights followed days.  

They ate carefully and drank sparingly, and soon enough they saw the Island of Monsters on the horizon.  Two days it grew, the wind backed, the wind slackened, the wind howed so hard that Que Quaig and Carl were forced to run before it under bare poles.  But they made it, they tied up on the abandoned pier, and packing their packs, donning their armor and travel cloaks, they set off to the center of the island to parlay with the Gds on their behalf.  

Two days they walked, ever uphill to the top of the mountain, and found a ring of stone benches.  On one sat a Gnomish Kukri of the finest quality, and on another, a long bow, ash wood, strung to a musical pitch, and a quiver full of arrows with goose feather fletching.  Que Quaig sat next to the bow, and picked it up, and ran his calloused hands lovingly over the graceful curve. 

And again, weary Children I will invoke the rauconteur’s prerogative to jump to what you want to hear, the counsel.  

They were all there, The Goddess of air, Lord of the Lands, and Master of the underworld.  The  Goddess of the Sea was represented by Que Quaig and Carl.

Yes I know my listeners, this is also a cliche, but since I was there, I can assure you this is how it happened. 

They talked for time unmeasurable.  Ancient quarrels were brought up, secret alliances were revealed, tension mounted, ebbed, and returned, until everybody was exhausted, and an impasse had been reached.  

Carl began to speak. 

The oracle of the sea, made this known to me, she has been concerned some time, about the mounting tension between you all.  

Catastrophic things I have seen if you, we, continue down this path.  I propose this, you all write down, under binding oath, what you are willing to take away from this mountain top.  I will read them, and I will come up with a plan of action.  Are we agreed?

And why should we listen to you, a mortal at the Gds table? asked the Master of the Underworld.  You are but a bug, we are Gds. 

I was sent upon this quest by the Oracle of the Sea, and the Sea Goddess has anointed me her representative.  Do we have an agreement Holy Ones?

We do, they affirmed, and produced scrolls and presented them to Carl. Carl read them, and handed them to Que Quaig.  

I have a plan, if it works, we should see peace for time immemorial.  

What shall we do? Asked the Lord of the Lands. 

I shall go to the Mythical land of the Fae, said Carl

We, said Que Quaig

We, Goose, you are correct, apologies.  We will go to the Land of the Fae, and what shall be is unwritten, but if all goes well, then these, and with that he threw the three scrolls in the air where they disappeared in a puff of smoke, Shall be granted.  By your Leave My Lords?

Go with God, said the Wind Goddess.  We await your return.  As they say, come back with your shield, or on it.  

Yes My Lady, both Carl and Que Quaig said, with our shields, or on them.  

The mist seemed to recede, time reconnected itself and the Gds were gone, leaving Carl and Que Quaig in a ring of stones underneath strange stars.  They fell asleep, after a pipe, and slept soundly the night through.  

And that my friends is where I will stop for the night, for I am an old man, and I grow weary. 

I must think tonight, and make sure I have all the secrets, and all the facts in order, and a good story crafted.  Good Night all, Should you wish, you may stay here, I have an excellent guest bedroom.  If not, I will see you all tomorrow at sundown.  I am partial to Pork and Garlic WhitBier apropos of nothing.  

With that, a good night.  I went to my room and tucked in for the night.  My head was spinning with memories, I was remembering secrets of the tale never told.  Tomorrow will be a good story day, I thought and turned out the light, blowing out the candle I suppose, I fell to sleep, no dreams bothered me, and I woke refreshed, and ready for the second day of the tale.